Patience

Most people lose even before the game begins because they have resigned themselves to their “fate”. Many lose because they give up quite early on in the game. Many others lose because they act in a frenzy and cannot get their moves together, because of having a bad coach, having too many coaches or being a bad student.

The common feature of all losers though is that they lack the one characteristic which is crucial in this game – PATIENCE.

The Edge

Ask any 498A victim to list his enemies and he will name his (ex)wife, in-laws, anti-male laws, law enforcement, lawyers, judiciary, feminists,…and the list can go on.

Most victims forget to name, or have never identified two crucial enemies, which should in fact be on the top of the list:

1) Fear
2) Frozen mind

It’s important to understand that with these two enemies residing within you, no amount of legal guidance will help you get through your problems.

If you deal with these two enemies at the right time and in the right way, you’ll have the edge, and you’ll cut through any problem like it’s a piece of cake.

Why is he (the rabbit) unafraid? Because he is smarter than the panther.

Charles Morse: You know, I once read an interesting book which said that, uh, most people lost in the wilds, they, they die of shame.
Stephen: What?
Charles Morse: Yeah, see, they die of shame. “What did I do wrong? How could I have gotten myself into this?” And so they sit there and they… die. Because they didn’t do the one thing that would save their lives.
Robert Green: And what is that, Charles?
Charles Morse: Thinking.

Bait and fish

Over the years, many people, on various forums and yahoogroups, have wondered what happens to 498A girls after they successfully destroyed their marriage. What happens to them in 3, 5, 10, 15, 20…years?

Having been around courts quite a bit, I’ve seen seemingly normal women become practically unrecognizable in less than 5 years. Some turn into nervous eaters and double in size and weight. Some become complete mental wrecks. Some become delusional and start feeling that they are doing great social service by being a legal terrorist. Those who persist more than five years become courtroom bums, fighting cases all their life as a full time profession regardless of the outcome.

Of late, I have noticed a new phenomenon whereby the “young and restless” 498A girls take to baiting new fish or become fish for someone’s bait. And surprisingly enough, for every bait, there is a fish somewhere. The fish looks at the bait and thinks “what a stupid bait, just waiting to be eaten!”. The bait thinks, “what a stupid fish, eagerly coming to get hooked!”.

A legal terrorist being desperate for a new “bakra” may seem understandable. But why would ANY man want to become a sacrificial lamb at the altar of a legal terrorist? Watch the following video and you’ll know why:

Good Riddance

29 December 2005

My father passed away. My brother and I, who were under arrest, were released on bail but only late in the evening, after the last rites of our old man were completed. The last day of my “age of innocence”. The day I started learning the “Art of War” against legal terrorism and turned into a full-time warrior. (See last year’s post: https://ilovemyex.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/take-back-the-night/)

29 December 2010

I woke up from an interesting dream at around 2:15 a.m. Here’s what happened in the dream, and for the sake of my non-Telugu readers I will report in English:

Believe it or not, Princess appeared in my dream. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her ,and boy was I delighted to see her again!

She came to court with her sister’s husband, whom we fondly call “donga kOLLu”. I was already there too for some reason I cannot remember. As they slowed down their scooter into the parking lot of the Family Court, Princess was smiling – the same smile of triumph she wears after she does something nasty and gets away with it. As she got off the scooter, she spotted me in the premises looking at her, and as always, she cut the smile and tried to look elsewhere.

I strode towards her, beaming and clapping my hands above my head, crying out loud, “You did such a great job! I hope you are happy.”

Princess did not answer.

I congratulated her for her belated but much appreciated accomplishment.

Princess did not respond.

Then I met her in a spot where she was sitting alone. I was still smiling mischievously. I leaned towards her and asked her, “Tell me the truth! When did you get married? Before you got the divorce, right? Tell me! I promise not to tell anyone.”

Princess said, “No, I’m not married. I have only been fighting in the court all through because of you. That is the truth.”

I asked, “What are you wearing all these chains and toe rings for then?”

“Oh! They’re nothing. I just wear them”, she replied.

Then I said to her softly, “Look, my guess is that you did not do all this nonsense by yourself. I bet there are bigger hands behind this. I always tell Anil the same thing. Tell me, isn’t it true? I am sure someone egged you on until you got deep into this muck and they later stepped aside for you to deal with it.”

She nodded in agreement. I don’t remember exactly what she said but she agreed she didn’t do it all of her own accord.

Then I told her that I sympathized with her situation, and that I truly felt sorry for her, but that I would have never given her the money she had demanded no matter what she did, so, she only wasted her time.

Princess looked stupid.

Then I found myself somewhere else on a terrace with her. I made some coffee for my High Court lawyer, and I offered her some. I also handed a cup to a young lawyer from her side who looked equally stupid.

I told Princess I did not hate her and that I just wanted to teach her what happens when she does nasty things to people like us.

*************

I would like to end today’s post with a song for Princess, who changed my life forever. I just wish that she knows I will always love her.

A Tryst With Destiny

On 28-29 December 2005, exactly 5 years ago, I made a tryst with destiny. Today, I am proud to say, I redeemed my pledge almost in full measure.

It was on the night of 28 December that my brother and I were taken into custody by the police and illegally detained in Saroornagar Police Station at the behest of Pappu Malathi and her entourage of legal terrorists.

At the stroke of the midnight hour (29 December), as the world slept, I was awake to the threat to my freedom and life as I knew it.

A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance. It was at that solemn moment that I took the pledge of dedication to make the night count – for myself, my family and my country – and to fight against legal terrorism.

Through good and ill fortune alike, I never lost sight of that quest, nor forgot the ideals which gave me strength. I end today, a period of personal legal battles, and I discover myself again.  The achievement I celebrate today is but a step, an opening of opportunity to the greater triumphs and achievements that await me in the larger war against legal terrorism.

(Note: I seek the indulgence of my readers for having taken most lines straight out of the original speech by Jawaharlal Nehru, since there is no better way to say this).

Winning always

During my 5 years of battle against legal terrorism, I have been contacted by hundreds of people in distress.

Most “498A victims” who approach me or any other helpline for that matter, do so because it only costs them a phone call to get free advice, and they have nothing to lose. Some have even “taken the pains” to meet me personally at the weekly group meeting with the eternal “what-do-I-lose” attitude.

One thing that is common to almost ALL victims is that they don’t really seek help. They just seek confirmation of their false hopes, beliefs and assumptions. They  also want to test out the remote possibility that I might have that special magic spell (that their lawyer doesn’t seem to have) which will make all their problems go away overnight. Once they realize I don’t have what they came looking for, they get disillusioned. Some are even disgruntled to the point that they question the presence of a helpline or organization which cannot help them.

Very few persons actually hang around long enough to learn and have fun playing and working consistently to achieve small victories which eventually add up and turn them from a “victim” into a “victor”.

Every victim who thinks that theirs is just a legal battle also assumes that if they hire the “best” lawyer in town “victory” is guaranteed. In fact, most victims approach me asking to be hooked up with a “good lawyer” since they are not satisfied with the one they have. If only they could realize that the solution to their problems lies in changing their attitude and approach and not so much in changing lawyers! That brings me to today’s little lesson.

One of the secrets of winning the battle against legal terrorism is to understand that the legal part comprises just 5-10 percent of the battle. 90-95 percent of the battle is psychological and social. If you win the latter, you will win the former without fail.

Frank Abagnale Sr.: You know why the Yankees always win, Frank?
Frank Abagnale, Jr.: ‘Cause they have Mickey Mantle?
Frank Abagnale Sr.: No, it’s ’cause the other teams can’t stop staring at those damn pinstripes.

Win-win strategy

There are three assumptions people make when they set out to fight legal terrorists:

1) I will go to court and get justice.

2) I am strong because I have a lot of evidence to prove my case or disprove theirs.

3) I win if I a get verdict in my favor (my petition is allowed and their petition is dismissed).

Anyone who works with the above assumptions is highly mistaken and not surprisingly, the most disappointed at the end of the day. You must realize that these assumptions don’t hold because the dice is already heavily loaded against you and the pitch is uneven.

What I learned from the great Gurus is that you should not focus so much on the outcome of a case. Instead, you should focus on setting up the game such that whatever the outcome may be, you stand to gain. Right from the start, you play in such a way that no matter what happens, you win.

If you can internalize this lesson and design your strategy you will NEVER be disappointed. You will always go to court as if you went to play your favorite game, which you already know you will win.

Don’t understand what I mean?

Everybody knows that if you score a goal, you win. You should also know that if your opponents score a self-goal, you still win. The most efficient strategy in the “Art of War” against legal terrorism is to enable your opponents to score goals for you. Here are some illustrations of a self-goal:

Pump fake

Everyday, I come across people struck by 498a and the entire menu or a subset of accompanying civil and criminal provisions.

Persons who otherwise consider themselves highly intelligent, academically accomplished and professionally successful suddenly realize that all their intellectual prowess, social and professional contacts are rendered ineffective when they need them the most.

Most of them are way too shaken to dig themselves out of the muck. They are way too demoralized and emotional to use their head. The law enforcement and judicial system being completely loaded against them does not help the process of healing or fighting back. As a result, they succumb to blackmail and extortion.

When I tell people to fight back, they ask me how. While any strategy should be developed based on the variable circumstances of the case, there are certain basic principles one has to follow in the “Art of War” against legal terrorists. In the interest of those who really want to learn I will try to post some lessons I learned during my own battles.

One such basic principle is called a “pump fake” in sports, and it is illustrated below:

 



Dignity

The fight for justice against corruption is never easy. It never has been and never will be. It exacts a toll on our self, our families, our friends, and especially our children. In the end, I believe, as in my case, the price we pay is well worth holding on to our dignity.

– Frank Serpico

ayOmukhi

I recently came across these slokas from araNya kaanDa of vaalmeeki raamaayaNa. Hope you appreciate their beauty as much as I do.

bhayadaam alpa sattvaanaam bhiibhatsaam raudra darshanaam |
la.mbodariim tiikshNa da.mSTraam karaaliim paruSa tvacam || 3-69-12
bhakshayantiim mR^igaan bhiimaan vikaTaam mukta muurdhajaam |
avaikshataam tu tau tatra bhraatarau raama lakshmaNau || 3-69-13

Listen for explanation:

http://www.esnips.com/web/ayomukhi/